positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
