Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
