Christians are straight up FREAKS
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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