something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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