So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
