I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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