I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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