Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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