He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
