Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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