fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
