I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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