Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
