Midget sex pt 2 tonight
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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