Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
