I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Im part way to drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
