I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
