Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
