Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
