I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
