omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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