Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
