Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
