I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
