were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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