We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
