I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
