they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
