Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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