The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
