We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
