Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
