I wannas sexs uuuuu
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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