Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
