Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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