Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
