you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
