I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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