god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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