Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
