dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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