Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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