Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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