Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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