It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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