thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
