a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
