So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize