"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
