I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
