DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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