remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize