totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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