I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
