guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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