Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am mentally ready for anal.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
