other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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