Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
