I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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