Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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