): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
