I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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