Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Randomize
