Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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