I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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