i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
me + whiskey = a bad person
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
