So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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