well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
