I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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