do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
