sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
