can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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