No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize