i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
