Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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