This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
