your thong is hanging out like whoa
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
