Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
