I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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