i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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