Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize
