i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize