so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
