I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
